Australian Penthouse

“I told Ranatunga he couldn’t have a runner for being unfit and he had a cramp because he was fat”

Everyone’s seen the footage of Warnie’s first ball in England. Do you still get a little tingle down your spine seeing it drift, jag and hit off stump?
Yeah, though we’d seen him bowl better balls on the tour of New Zealand. The Kiwis were missing him by six inches. To get edges or bat-pads, we decided he was going to have to pitch them six inches outside leg stump. But yeah, I get a good feeling when I see that footage again, mainly because that whole tour had a good feeling. The vision brings back the atmosphere, the smells, the dressing room… It was the match where I made my first Test ton. That whole Test was special for us all, and a very big part of it was Warnie’s ball, which stuffed the English batsmen ever since.

In 1997, you hit a six to win a Test series in South Africa. That must rank up there in your career highlights?
That’s the best Test match I’ve ever played in. We were way behind at the end of day two, staring down the barrel of a loss. Then we had an unbelievable morning session on day three. Jason Gillespie got a lot of wickets and we took 10 for 80 or something, which left us 260-odd to win. Mark Waugh played a great knock, got a hundred, and I hit a six to finish it off.

You stood down rather than be pushed in 1999, effectively abdicating to Adam Gilchrist. Any regrets about not getting a farewell Test in Brisbane?
I don’t have any regrets now, though at the time I was cranky for about a week. That said, my first thought when they told me I should retire was, “Good, I don’t have to go to training.” Deep down, I wasn’t enjoying training and that used to be my favourite thing. I would have liked to play in that series, but I wasn’t allowed to. But no, I don’t have any regrets.

You never got to bowl. Ever get close?
Never. It was the worst thing for a wicketkeeper when all the ‘stupid’ bowlers got going—Mark Taylor, Justin Langer, Michael Slater… When they’re bowling, on a dead afternoon, that’s the time when you’re most likely to miss something because you’re not concentrating. And those ‘bowlers’ will remember it and put shit on you literally forever. But no, I never had a bowl. I like the fact the gloves and pads stayed on for the whole of my career.

Who was the best quickie you kept to?
Bruce Reid was always fantastic. It was a real nightmare for me that he didn’t get to play more Tests. Craig McDermott, when he had the ball swinging away. And Glenn McGrath. With these guys, you got a sense of where their deliveries were going to go on the strength of their consistent actions. Whereas when it comes to someone like Merv Hughes, he could easily throw one wide of leg or wobble it through and wreck your rhythm.

Best Merv Hughes yarn?
Nothing I can commit to paper. My memories of Merv are of him playing full of pain-killers. All of our fast-bowlers battled through pain, but Merv was the best at it. Day in, day out, he had a great ability to play through the pain, perform and get the job done.

How do you reckon Merv and company are going as selectors?
It varies. There doesn’t seem to be the same consistency shown with spin bowlers as there has been with batsmen. Marcus North is a guy they’ve persisted with and hopefully he can come through for them, butat the same time they’ve gone through seven or eight spinners. I don’t have a great read of why this is or which part of the selection panel it’s coming from, but I’d like to see more confidence building. If you pick someone, they should be given a good, extended go. And that isn’t happening.

Who do you like—Brad Haddin or Tim Paine?
Brad Haddin deserved to keep his place in the team following his comeback from injury. He’s shown what he can do. But Tim Paine was outstanding in India and has shown the selectors that he’s the standout, incumbent number two. And Brad Haddin knows that, too. Another injury and Paine could take his place permanently.

Who’s going to win the Ashes?
England are the favourites to win, in my view. Australia is capable of winning, but their form isn’t thrilling me. They’re a lot better than how they’ve been playing.

Why can’t Australia finish teams off?
We haven’t got McGrath and Warne. And teams get a confidence boost from that. The Aussies aren’t as good as they were and they will struggle to bowl sides out on the last day. But the way to fix that is to score more runs and to give the bowlers plenty to work with. There have been some worrying batting collapses of late which can’t be allowed to continue.