Australian Penthouse

If acting is in the blood, then the cinematic haemophilia suffered when Hollywood brothers are cast together puts slasher movies to shame
Story: Dominic Cadden

John & Jim Belushi

John was a true genius revered by his peers, who include some of the greatest comedians of the past 30 years. Jim is his younger brother. John died from a lethal injection of heroin and cocaine in LA’s ritzy Chateau Marmont Hotel after saying goodnight to Robert De Niro and Robin Williams. Jim Belushi dies a little with every fucking episode of According To Jim, in front of an audience of trailer trash mouth-breathers.

After John’s death, Jim followed in his brother’s footsteps as a cast member of Saturday Night Live. While John’s roles were improvised and unhinged, Jim needs a comic set-up so large it requires a crane and a studio pumped full of laughing gas just to raise a chuckle.

Career high point
John: The manic, mad, musical The Blues Brothers (1980). He could have dined out for 100 years on this one.
Jim: Outlived John. Co-starred with Arnold Schwarzenegger in 1988 crime thriller Red Heat.

Career low point
John: That damn eight-ball. At the time, John was lined up for the role of Dr Peter Venkman in Ghostbusters, a role that eventually went to Bill Murray.
Jim: K9 PI: Sniffin’ Out the Reel Story (2002), the third in the K9 series. The star was a dog. The film was a dog. Jim needed someone to throw him a frickin’ bone.

Alec & Stephen Baldwin

Alec, the eldest and best actor of the four Baldwin brothers, is a vegetarian Democrat who eats Republicans for breakfast. The third Baldwin sibling is a drugged-up, erratic actor who became a Christian evangelist after 9/11.
Alec can pilot an attack-class submarine. Stephen has a Hannah Montana tattoo. Alec is on the board of People for the American Way, which targets right-wing groups, and personally took out editorials to criticise ex-Vice President Dick Cheney. Stephen travelled the USA with Breakthrough Ministries and is Sarah Palin’s “favourite Baldwin”. Alec is great with comedy. Stephen is a comedy—look up his novelty dance song, My 18-Inch Biceps, for proof.
Alec told David Letterman in 2008: “I love Stephen and we have fun together, but then you’ll be eating out with him and he’ll look up from his soup and go, ‘You realise most of the people in this restaurant are going to hell’.”

Career high point
Alec: “Put. That coffee. Down. Coffee’s for closers only.” Everything I know about managing staff, I learned from Alec in 1992 real-estate drama Glengarry Glen Ross. He outshines even Jack Lemmon and Al Pacino.
Stephen: Blew away a lifetime of crap performances with his wild, ranting Mike McManus in The Usual Suspects (1995).

Career low point
Alec: Thomas and the Magic Railroad (2000). Alec plays Mr Conductor, who’s low on the magic gold dust that allows him to travel to Shining Time. Even three-year-olds thought the drug references were lame.
Stephen: In the god-awful Fred Claus (2007), he plays himself at a ‘Siblings Anonymous’ group, where he has issues with Alec’s fame.

Sylvester & Frank Stallone

Sly Stallone had a strange habit of urinating into electrical sockets as a kid, and high school classmates voted him as “most likely to end up in the electric chair”. His younger, more stable brother Frank practised guitar. As Sly got his break into film with softcore porn (Italian Stallion), Frank began playing with big-name musicians like Bonnie Raitt and Blood, Sweat and Tears.

When Sly wrote and starred in Rocky (1976), he put aside a part for his bro, a tradition he maintained for decades. Frank’s talents were better used for co-writing the soundtrack to 1983’s Staying Alive (Sly was director and co-writer), and Frank performed Life Goes On, which nabbed both Grammy and Golden Globe nominations.
Sly found his acting niche in beating people or shooting shit up, but Frank dipped into acting only between gigs as a big-band singer. Ironically, Frank has more boxing and wrestling experience than Sly.

Career high point
Sly: Rocky launched Sly as the ultimate in monosyllabic, anti-society, underdog heroes.
Frank: Terrifying as the manic bartender who beats on Mickey Rourke in Barfly (1987).

Career low point
Sly: Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (2003). As Toymaker, the evil overlord, he curls his lip and chuckles to portray ‘comedy’, but kids were horrified by his unbelievably vascular hands.
Frank: After his critically acclaimed role in 1993’s Tombstone, Frank came back to eat his brother’s shit with bit parts in Get Carter (2000) and Rocky Balboa (2006).

Next page of story

Related articles

• Feature: Sexy Cinema Stars
• Past Perfect: Goldie Hawn
• WINNERS! Misfits Series One and Two DVD box set
• HBO and Mark Wahlberg plan TV show about porn industry
• NEWS: Caligula director to make 3D porno