Australian Penthouse

Men are fated to receive unwanted socks as a gift at least once in their life. So if you can’t beat the odds, at least stack the deck

MOXON OF HUDDERSFIELD

RRP: $896
CREATED with the world’s finest cashmere, Moxon of Huddersfield socks are made using traditional wooden machines at the 453-year-old English firm’s historic mill. According to Moxon, the softness and natural heat-retentive capability of these pricey foot-covers will be at their peak between the first and 12th time you wear them. Penthouse suggests a once-per-month wear supported with subtle hints for a second pair next year.

AETREX COPPER SOLE
RRP: $11
THESE little beauties incorporate Cupron yarn infused with copper ions to provide antimicrobial protection against many micro-organisms. In other words, they stop funky fungi from harassing your feet. But wait, there’s more: Aetrex socks are made from a sweat-wicking polyester fabric, which draws moisture away from the foot to help prevent friction, bunions, blisters and rashes, making them great for sport.

KATHMANDU ADVENTURE TREK
RRP: $22.95
IF THESE socks are good enough for the Australian Antarctic Division, then they’re good enough for us. Ergonomically engineered for comfort and support, the traditional-style socks are made from the finest merino wool blend to keep you toasty warm in all conditions, with added ribs in the sole for improved breathability. Perfect as winter office socks, or for lounging.

HOLEPROOF COMPUTER SOCKS
RRP: $9
NO, THEY’RE not just for surfing the Interweb—Holeproof’s range of Computer Socks will improve your circulation. Launched in the 1970s, these socks fall up, not down, because more Lycra is knitted into the cotton in the upper section of the sock. Aussie ingenuity.

KING GEE TOUGH TOE
RRP: $12.95
THE Tough Toe gets our vote for best work socks. Hard-wearing and long-lasting, the socks are constructed with reinforced, antibacterial material, to keep feet dry and protected while you’re slogging it out on the worksite. The socks are thick, cushioned and breathable—perfect when paired with an RM Williams work boot, and a favourite with brickies everywhere.

ARDENT ALPACA
RRP: $19
AH, ALPACA. Apart from looking a bit like a Tauntaun mated with an ostrich and spitting at innocent people, the surly South American mammal’s fleece is highly sought after. One of the world’s softest natural fibres, it also has a high insulation index (which means it’s oh-so-cosy). Australian-made Ardent Alpaca socks are light, breathable and warm, and available in 10 fashion colours.

THUNDERBOLT HEATED SOCKS

RRP: $158
POSSIBLY not as vital in the Antipodes, these super socks are electrically heated to ward off life-threatening frostbite. Simply charge them up via the supplied AC adapter (or pay a bit extra for the portable battery pack) and up that mountain you go. Just try not to step in any puddles…

ADIDAS CLIMACOOL
RRP: $15
WITH ventilation channels, 360-degree mesh and special ‘performance fabrics’, these technologically advanced garments are made for the serious sportsman. Or at least blokes who want to look like serious sportsmen. The socks also feature a reinforced heel and toe to provide additional comfort and durability.

STAFF RECOMMENDATION

KNITTED WILLY WARMER

RRP: $7
IN THE dead of winter, not only feet suffer from chill, and that’s where the Knitted Willy Warmer comes in. “Won’t my carrot and potatoes itch?” we hear you cry. Fear not; the Warmer is made from 100 per cent acrylic wool, so you won’t get thrown off the bus for touching yourself inappropriately. Maybe…

PET OF THE YEAR RECOMMENDATION

TUBE SOCKS

RRP: $8.65
“TUBE socks can look extremely sexy—definitely as hot as most stockings,” claims 2009 Pet of the Year, Emma Gibbs. “If a girl dresses her tube socks up with cute heels and a short skirt—or rollerskates—she is sure to turn plenty of heads.”

By Kate Hutchinson

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