Billie Exposed… Where have all the real men gone?

billie0709 I’ve noticed that some of the guys I date take longer than me to get ready. I like a guy who makes an effort, but I don’t want to go out with someone who owns more hair products than I do.

These men are, of course, metrosexuals, the original—and best—being Mr David Beckham. These blokes sport perfectly groomed hair, manicured hands and shaped eyebrows; they wear designer clothing and, in the capital cities, men travel in packs with tight-fitting V-neck shirts and white pointy loafers, oozing a mixture of vanity, aggression and arrogance. The correct word to describe them begins with a ‘w’ and rhymes with ‘anchor’.

Naturally, not all metrosexuals are as extreme as the above examples. One guy I dated was very ‘metro’ and not at all aggressive—the problem with him was his total lack of body hair. I can understand why some men wax their chests if it gets thick and uncomfortable in summer, but this guy didn’t have much to start with and obsessively shaved his chest every second day. It was horrible. After a steamy session of hot banging, I’d end up with a shaving rash across my ample breasts!

Another guy I dated was a personal trainer who regularly competed in half-marathons. This was the excuse he used for shaving his legs. It was very ugly and I hated rubbing my legs against his in bed—it felt like I was sleeping with a girl! He claimed that he shaved them for aerodynamic purposes, but I think the real reason was because it made his calf muscles stand out more. Vanity is not attractive in either sex. On the other side of the argument, it is nice when a man makes an effort—when his shirt is ironed and he looks clean and smells good.

But let’s face it, women want their men to be men. It gets me horny to see my guy doing masculine things, such as fixing a car or getting all hot and dirty while doing some domestic DIY. I often fantasise about a sexy man wearing old paint-spattered jeans while firmly gripping a big drill. Yum…

No woman has sexual fantasies about a man she can compare manicure tips with. Although cleanliness and chivalry are essential, I want my guy to be a bit gruff—being comfortable with your masculinity gets two thumbs up from me!

HOT TIP:

Don’t be a metrosexual in bed. Most girls generally enjoy a bit of playful rough-and-tumble, so don’t act like a delicate poser who is obsessed with the mirror.