Is that what Laid Bare is about?
That’s essentially what Laid Bare is about. It’s not about sex; it’s a book about trying to figure out what love is and where to find it, and how to make it last. It started out as an article I wrote for marie claire magazine about how it feels when your wife leaves. I got a lot of letters from women around Australia thanking me for writing a candid story from the male perspective on how difficult divorce is.

How tough was it for you to actually write the book?
I took the approach that if you’re going to write a memoir, you have to write it as authentically as possible. My dark personal moments were very much a part of that story. It’s important that people understand that men—though outwardly we may appear to have no emotions at all—are actually deeply emotional, as much as any woman. We just very rarely show it.

How common is your experience among other men?
I found that my situation wasn’t that uncommon and there were a lot of guys suffering in silence and not really having anyone to talk to about what they were going through internally. I felt that it was important for me to show that it’s okay to be vulnerable and to break down and have emotions. I think it’s really important that men also be more open about the times when they are struggling, particularly with mental illness.

Mental illness?
A lot of guys I know are going through similar sorts of things to what I went through, particularly with anxiety and depression and even OCD [Obsessive Compulsive Disorder].

You mention OCD in Laid Bare. What was your particular subset?
My subset of OCD is called ‘Pure-O’, which is short for ‘Pure Obsessional Obsessive Compulsive Disorder’. Essentially, what was happening is I would be getting intrusive and disturbing thoughts at the most inappropriate times. It’s not something you can really understand. It’s brought about by anxiety. I think OCD is an incredibly misunderstood disorder.

How so?
In the media, the impression we get of it is crazy people washing their hands 50 times a day, but it’s much more than that. The thing that most don’t understand is that people are driven to these sorts of compulsive behaviours because they’re trying to shut out thoughts and images coming into their head that they don’t want. People are killing themselves because of OCD because they don’t know who to talk to about it.

On the topic of sex, what kind of dating websites were you signed up to?
I never went on an adult personals site that was strictly geared for sex. I put a profile on one of the adult sites here in Australia, just to see what the deal was, but it didn’t strike me as something that was for me. I met most of the women I dated through more traditional online dating sites, such as RSVP.com.au.

In your experience, was RSVP more geared towards relationships or sex?
People are saying they want relationships, but it’s a meat market. If you’re in good shape, have decent looks and a bit of money, it’s very easy to fall into the player lifestyle by putting yourself online. And it’s not just men, it’s women as well. I found myself getting hundreds of emails from very desirable women. All of a sudden, it’s like being in an American supermarket where you’re overburdened with choice.

So these women were chasing you?
Oh, much more so than I was approaching them. I was frankly surprised because the woman I was deeply in love with—my ex-wife—didn’t want a bar of me. But I put myself online and hundreds of women were sending me emails and they all looked bloody fantastic. It’s great for your ego, but it’s not necessarily good for settling on one person because I think men go on there and become rock stars. We get a bit carried away with the attention. That’s certainly what happened to me.

What is the perfect middle ground for online dating?
To be honest, I have met a lot of women through online dating who have become very good friends of mine. I think online dating is fantastic for making friends, for networking, for building your social circle; I just don’t necessarily think it’s fantastic for relationships.

What do you offer that other porn directors don’t?
Authenticity. I want to show real situations, real people, real settings, real sex.

What difference does a woman’s perspective make to adult cinema?
What arouses women is often opposite to what’s shown in mainstream porn. Good feminist porn focuses on female pleasure. In porn, women are in a minority, both in voice and audience. But when women watch and enjoy porn, regardless of what type, they are owning and exploring their sexuality, which can only be empowering and further social equality.

Why do you think Cabaret Desire won Porn Movie of the Year at the Feminist Porn Awards?
I think it offered viewers something they’d never seen before in adult film; an original premise, cool Barcelona locations, beautiful cinematography, authentic sex scenes, and a great balance of whimsy and realism, eroticism and intimacy.

How do you choose your actors?
I spend a good deal of time finding the right people and then making sure their values align with mine. It’s easy to tell when someone wants to work in adult films but doesn’t enjoy their work. I make an effort to get to know potential cast, their reasons for acting, and their attitude to sex.

What can men learn from your films?
The main thing men can take away from my films is a better idea of women’s fantasies and desires. Most of my male fans breathe a sigh of relief after seeing something close to their real experiences, which mainstream porn fails to do.

How successful have you been, in terms of actual sales?
My movie Five Hot Stories for Her (2007) sold about 240,000 copies and about a million legal downloads between my website, pay per-view and video on demand. Goodness only knows how many illegal downloads there are…

What new trends are you seeing in the porn industry?
Amateur and gonzo-scene collections still dominate the mainstream but remain formulaic. But indie adult filmmakers like myself have benefitted immensely from doing business online, where we can deal directly with consumers and really expand our fan-base.

What was that first meeting with your parents like after they Googled you and discovered what you do?
I was really embarrassed that they found out on the Internet rather than from me, but they were so great and supportive that the awkwardness was relieved right away.

What are your thoughts on the Australian adult industry?
I don’t know much about the Australian porn industry, but I was impressed with Australian filmmaker Anna Brownfield. Her film The Band is incredible.

What sort of porn do you enjoy?
L’Amant (The Lover) is passionate, sensual and erotic. It takes place in French colonial Vietnam and tells the semi-autobiographical story of an impossible love affair between a young French girl and a wealthy Chinese businessman. My favourite adult book is Little Birds by Anais Nin. Written in the 1940s, when erotica was particularly taboo, the stories pioneered the expression of female sexuality.

You’ve also produced the Erotic Bible to Europe. Do you have any personal favourite places?
The places I like best take something ordinary and create something totally erotic. For instance, London’s Icecreamists… so much more than an ice-cream parlour… they have elevated something as innocent as dessert to delicious adult status.

What fun sex trends have you come across recently?
Right now, I’m in love with pasties—the nipple covers made famous by strippers. They’re a great alternative to bras; you can wear them under sheer tops, avoid ‘wardrobe malfunctions’ in a bikini, and they’re insanely sexy. There’s a ton of variety, from rhinestone to rocker to snakeskin to tassels.

How did you get into the adult industry?
I wanted to do porn for as long as I could remember. When I turned 16, I realised that I had no idea how I was going to get involved, I just knew it was what I wanted to do. For some reason, I figured if I went to parties in Hollywood, I would meet someone who could help me out. I started doing just that and, sure enough, when I was 17, I met a girl who knew someone who knew someone who gave me a shot in a movie.

How important is cock size in becoming a porn star?
Not very. A giant cock is impressive and all and will get you more attention, but every producer I know will take a hard, average-sized dick over a floppy, huge penis.

What’s the most difficult or annoying part about being a dude in the industry?
Nothing. My job is pretty amazing in every way.

Who are your favourite adult actresses to work with?
I couldn’t choose favourites. There are so many great performers who I adore.

What have you learned about women during your career?
I don’t really feel like adult films necessarily teach guys anything more about women than any other profession.

What’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you on set?
I never know how to answer this. Funny is subjective and there are a lot of goofy things that happen on set. Usually the most hilarious stuff is just people telling jokes.

Is it tough to keep it up and blow your load on command?
Not really. Kind of just what I do.

You’re cast alongside Lindsay Lohan in upcoming feature film The Canyons. How did you land the part and would you like to do more mainstream acting?
Bret Easton Ellis was writing this movie and started to post on Twitter that I was his ideal casting for it. We emailed back and forth, then I went through the process of meeting the producer and director and eventually it was decided that I would be best for the role. I had a great time on the mainstream set. I used to say I never wanted to do any acting and I still don’t see huge mainstream things in my future, but I’m not as opposed to it as I was before.

What’s your advice to guys who want to get into the business?
Do it! Porno is awesome.

What’s the biggest misconception about being a male porn star?
Fluffers. They do not exist.

How would you like to be remembered as a performer?
I would like to be remembered as a nice dude who was fun to be around. That applies to performing and just life in general.

Did you always want to be a porn star?
I never set out to become a porn star. In fact, I never really watched that much porn prior to my first scene. When the opportunity was presented to me, it felt pretty natural since I’ve always been an exhibitionist and very sexual. I enjoy se and knowing people get off while watching me have sex.

Why do you think alt porn is so popular right now?
Because tattooed girls are fucking hot! It just took the world some time to realise it.

Do you have a favourite tattoo?
My favourite tattoo is the roses that are on my waist and go up my right side. It was the most painful tattoo I’ve had so far, but it’s beautiful, so it was worth the pain.

Who do you most enjoy working with on camera?
My favourite guy to work with is Danny Wylde. Every time we’ve been paired up for a scene, I’ve had so much fun. My first scene with him for Burning Angel was just amazing. He didn’t know I was into anal, so when I told him to put his cock in my ass, he was very surprised! Veruca James is my favourite girl to work with; I have a huge girl crush on her and she has been the only girl, so far, who’s made me squirt.

What’s so special about Burning Angel?
The company is more like a family. I feel like an individual and not just a body. I’ve got to have sex with some really amazing guys and girls, as well as play roles in movies where I learned new and exciting things. For example, when we filmed Kung Fu Pussy, I learned fighting techniques and how to do stunts.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done in your career so far?
I recently shot for a new movie called Evil Head, a parody of The Evil Dead. Besides getting re-animated as a demon, I was in the famous tree rape scene. If you’ve seen The Evil Dead, you know what I’m talking about; if not, I basically get gang-banged by possessed trees. The tree branches had dildos ‘growing’ off them and I ended up with one in my mouth, one in my pussy and the last one in my ass, all at once!

Woah! What do you like to do when you’re not working?
I enjoy exercising and running. I also love to cook for people—it makes me happy when I see people enjoying something I have made.

Which mainstream celebrity would you most like to bonk?
I have a list of a few I would love to bang! Definitely Johnny Depp (but who doesn’t want to bang him?), Christian Bale and Adrien Brody.

Finally, do you genuinely enjoy the taste of man-mayo?
Haha! The more loads I can swallow, the better.

Ross Clarke-Jones, 46, is 100 percent nuts; the leader of Australian big-wave surfing for 20 years, his craziness is so dyed-in-the-wool that unshorn sheep go insane when he puts on a jumper. Together, the pair make big-wave surfing documentaries that drop more jaws than an earthquake in a graveyard. Their moniker: The Storm Surfers.

Their hit movie, Storm Surfers 3D, was selected for the 2012 Toronto International Film Festival—the largest film festival in North America and second only to Cannes; an unprecedented, deserved achievement for a surf doco. It sees Carroll and RCJ pitting themselves against multi-storey waves across the world. While taunting each other. And facing their—and especially Tom’s—mortality.

Tom, you almost killed Ross with a jet ski during filming in Western Australia. Tell us about it.
Ross Clarke-Jones: Ha! That was just an accident, really. That was a big wave, the first good one we had seen. That place was wild. It’s out off the continental shelf. Real deep water.
Tom Carroll: I towed Ross onto a wave with the jet ski, and I was commentating: “This looks like a good one, it’s real smooth…” And I’m talking, but then as I go over the back of the wave, I’m still looking down at him—and then this big lump of whitewater hits me…
RCJ: And pushes him back over the ledge…
TC: …on a 600kg jet ski! And I’m 75kg, so I’ve got no say. And it just goes, BOOM! I can see it now, clearly, how slow it was going—in slow-mo, I’m going over. It felt like ages that I was at the top of the wave going, “Oh, no!” because I couldn’t punch the throttle—because that would have squirted me across the face and down in front of it, into the trough. So I just watched Ross. And instead of him going past me, he actually turned back underneath me! I saw him and I was yelling, “Argh! Ross!”
RCJ: I can’t believe it. I went straight underneath him. I was just ahead of the wave, where the lip landed.
TC: It was real close. There was a camera set up on the front of his board, angled back, and you can see me going over the falls on the back of it.

Wow. Over the falls on a 20-foot wave… on a jet ski. What was that like?
TC: I got rearranged. Every bone, all my spine, everything. Even when you try to pull your limbs in close to your body, you still get torn and ripped apart.
RCJ: He came up all angry! Haha! I’ve never seen him so angry.
TC: I was totally out of breath. I was down there for a while, too.

Do you still get scared?
RCJ: I really don’t like being scared. I don’t get scared.

Tom, didn’t your surfboard once ram you up the arse?
TC: Yeah… just north of there. I got a double date. It was in Japan in really small surf, when I was practicing like crazy before a World Tour event in 1987, on an island an eight-hour ferry ride from Tokyo. My board’s nose hit the sand and I landed on the tail with my arse. The bottom sheet of fibreglass broke away and went straight through my wetsuit and into the flesh. Oh, mate, I was crying so hard my eyes hurt. And, ah, I had some… complications after it. I was almost colostomy bag material. Another time I ruptured my stomach against my spine.

You should wear body armour.
TC: I’ve been known to wear a helmet. I split my helmet at Teahupoo, in Tahiti. My board went through it and tore into my ear, busted my eardrum, and I almost got knocked out. When you do that, you lose your balance. It sucks.
RCJ: It sucks. I did that at Reunion [Island]. I was dead-set paddling around in circles.
TC: It’s like you’ve had a whole bottle of scotch. I also had a really bad one when I was 16. I’m still suffering from that. It pulled my knee out of place up at big Umina Point. I tried to pull out at the last minute because it wasn’t tubing and this thing just landed on me, tore my whole right knee out of joint.

You’re 45 and 50, respectively. Does anyone tell either of you to maybe slow down a bit?
RCJ: I’m still frothing. I’m like a grommet.
TC: If you’re going to do something, give it all you’ve got. Fuck it. Do it with everything you’ve got.