Reviews

Review – Classic DVD: Cube

by Suzan Ryan on Oct.07, 2011, under Reviews

THE LOWDOWN

CUBE proves that just because an actor appears on the front of a DVD, it doesn’t mean he’ll make it past the first five minutes. After the faux protagonist shows us how deadly his strange surroundings can be, we meet a seemingly unexceptional group of clueless survivors.

Quentin (Maurice Dean Wint) claims to be a cop, Worth (David Hewlett) is a morose architect, Leaven (Nicole de Boer) is a brilliant maths student, Holloway (Nicky Guadagni) is a conspiracy-spouting doctor, and Rennes (Wayne Robson) is a savvy ex-con who has escaped his fair share of prisons.

Thanks to Leaven and an autistic man named Kazan (Andrew Miller), who the group meetswhile trying to find an exit, they figure out a mathematical method to the cubic madness, but that doesn’t stop them asking impossible questions and eventually turning on each other.

NUTS AND BOLTS

Director Vincenzo Natali and actor David Hewlett are old school friends who created the short film Elevated (find it on YouTube) to show potential investors the kind of horror that could be achieved in a confined space. While most of Elevated was shot in a lift, Cube upscaled to a 4.3 x 4.3 x 4.3m set with interchangeable lighting panels to give the illusion of multiple cubic rooms.

Rumour has it early drafts of the script had the characters discovering peculiar alien food that suggested a definitive explanation for the cube. However, this idea was scrapped in favour of deliberate ambiguity, with Natali reportedly vowing never to reveal what is actually outside the cube. The characters are all named after American prisons.

DVD EXTRAS

Unfortunately, the Cube DVD is as sparse on extras as the film is on locations. Standard features such as audio commentary by Natali, a handful of deleted scenes and a trailer are on offer, but the afterthought inclusion of production art and storyboards act as more of a tease.

Scandalously, the Cube/Cypher (the latter is also directed by Natali) Blu-ray combo has no extras whatsoever.

VERDICT

Instead of relying on the cheap gore of many fright flicks, Cube focuses on the infinitely more interesting and ever-fallible human psyche. Thirteen years after its release, the breakthrough low-budget indie still holds its own as a compelling and unique sci-fi/horror romp.

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Motoring: Hyundai i45

by Suzan Ryan on Oct.04, 2011, under Reviews

IT wasn’t until I reached the top of the mountain that I realised I was fucked. I wasn’t some rich bugger on a weekend trip. I wasn’t there to enjoy the view. I am a journalist, which means I should have been taking notes.

But there was a problem: What can you say about transparent driving? What talking points are raised by luxury motoring that seeks to remove every shred of tedium and menial labour, elevating driving from one of life’s many chores to a rare oasis of relief?

Those are the guiding precepts behind Hyundai’s newest sedan, the i45, and for everyone but a journalist, that’s very good news.

For a small window, I was outfoxed by the i45. I didn’t know what to make of it. I spent the first 30 minutes of the test drive admiring its interior styling. Naturally, Hyundai went with the classic look—full leather upholstery, black piano trim all over—as well as one-touch everything, fingertip management, keyless ignition…

A tidy congregation of perfectly manufactured buzzwords. However, I got my head back in the game as we reached Manly. I started taking it all in. We kept going, past Brookvale, Collaroy, Narrabeen, Mona Vale, Newport Beach and on to a place I’d never seen before.

I didn’t know what it was called, but I did know everything there was well above my pay grade. The people looked rich. The dogs looked rich. Even the foliage had an attitude problem.

Thankfully, the class divide didn’t apply—I was driving incognito, under the radar. No-one knew I was just a journalist. I could have been anyone in that car, coming home from anywhere. For one thing, I had keyless ignition, which is exactly the kind of indulgence that gets you by in towns with money.

Our fleet of showroom-fresh Hyundais sampled the scenery for a while, then headed towards the wave breaks, passing an old European auto on the way.

It shivered, choked and died, and every one of us forgave it. The i45 is a sexy mistress, and even the most classic cars appear matronly beside it. All quiet humming and bodacious curves—what Hyundai calls ‘fluidic sculpture’—it is a continuous slope from tail to nose. Intimidation is the most comon and obvious response.

Though I figured early on that this car was an experience rather than an experiment, I resisted the full impact of its charms until the last leg of the journey, still attempting the usual stocktake of components, procedures and the relationships between them all.

Then, finally, I gave up and accepted my fate. “I’m at helm of a pristine cruiser on a perfect Sydney day,” I thought. I knocked the sunroof back with a swift touch and gave myself over to the air of total serenity.

The road opened up in the distance, flanked by sulking coastline and unshakeable bushland. The crackling yawp of Son House sounded at home on the subwoofer and goaded me for a couple of kays before, against the advice we’d been given, I slipped away from the convoy and pushed the engine a little harder up the mountain… then a little harder still… The i45 didn’t struggle once. There was no growling or grunt, and transitions were so smooth as to be inconspicuous, but the power of the car was never in question.

In fact, nothing was. The i45 is designed to get out of your way while you make your way. It’s got the features and embellishments of a top-tier car, but the price tag of a Camry. It’s got the figure of an E-Class Mercedes-Benz, with the fuel consumption of a Mazda3.

Large-car feel, mid-sized dimensions. Where they can’t be automated, the machinations of driving have been intentionally understated. From the moment you sit behind the wheel, it’s clear that no exertion is required.

Instead of my mind being stuck on how the car felt in a turn, I was free to focus on what I saw when I shot out of it. Instead of my thoughts dwelling on, say, the boot size, iPod connectivity or electric lumbar support, my sole preoccupation was how quickly the velveteen road vanished behind me.

And all of that is why I was fucked at the top of the mountain, with my complete lack of critical or analytical notes. Because Hyundai has achieved what it set out to—fashioning an upmarket, low-cost, mid-sized goliath with all the trimmings. A perfect mistress set to seduce drivers away from the rest of the cars in its category.

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Motoring: 1968 Ford Mustang

by Suzan Ryan on Sep.22, 2011, under Reviews, Reviews

ABOUT three years ago, Ziggy’s Hot Rods, north of Newcastle in New South Wales, was commissioned to build a Targa-type competition race car. It soon became apparent that the newly acquired client had very high expectations of the project’s outcome, and Ziggy’s Hot Rods was up to the challenge. 

The original plan was to go for a fake Hoey, but the problem is that you can’t get a rolling Falcon shell for under 10 grand these days and parts are near impossible to come by. Ziggy’s Hot Rods boss, Greg Sadler, persuaded the client to consider a Mustang: “They’re easier to find, they retain value and parts can always be sourced”, claims Sadler.

With the decision made to go with the Mustang, Ziggy suggested a practical finish that would be easy to maintain, but the client simply wouldn’t have it; he rejected recommendations of a low-gloss, satin-finished engine bay in favour of the full show car under-bonnet.

The same mindset was extended to the interior, exterior, boot and undercarriage of the car until what they finished up with was a race car built to show-car specs, or should that be a show car built to race-car specs? So precise was the finished product and quality of workmanship that Ziggy’s creation took out a Top 10 award at Canberra’s Summernats 2011.

From the outset, the concept was to build a timeless classic and not a trendy fashion statement that would be dated before the paint was dry.

The overall concept of the build was a throwback to the classic feel of 1960s Mustangs. Influences such as the handcrafted quarter windows and 1969 Boss-style bonnet scoop set this car apart from the crowd. It was important for all modifications to flow into the car rather than draw singular attention.

The decision to bypass the use of electronic fuel injection was a conscious one in a bid to keep with traditional 1960s muscle car design and retain the classic, raw horsepower feel of the era.

The workmanship that has gone into the body of the car is nothing short of mind-blowing when you look beneath the surface. Every single centimetre of the body has been manipulated in some way, a process known as “surfacing”.

According to Ziggy, at least six months of time and labour were invested in the surfacing alone on this car. A precision instrument called a digital caliper was used to measure the alignment of each of the panels. Ziggy strived to attain a consistent three-millimetre gap on all opening panels,a massive improvement over the consistency of the original factory tolerances. 

The front guards were sliced and shifted closer to the bonnet. A similar approach was taken on the boot lid to achieve the mandatory three millimetres throughout. The body sills, lower quarters and rear beaver panel were all handmade and designed to extend a further 40 millimetres lower than standard to help achieve the vehicle’s tough stance.

For what was intended to be a race car, this may sound like overkill, and perhaps it is, but the end result unashamedly embraces the best of race grunt and classic road style.

The interior sports a sharp, clean and simplistic finish while stylishly housing all the race-required equipment. The roll cage was built into the interior’s trim in order to meet both race and show specs and incorporates an X-frame with harness mounts. Gauges, air vents and audio controls are rounded to fit in with the era of the car’s design.

The gauges were all designed by Ziggy and then custom-made, while the Clarion control pod is a marine unit. The entire audio system, with the exception of the Clarion control pod, is hidden within the vehicle’s trim work and interior panelling so as not to detract from the race feel.

The Muzzy is powered by a 427-cubic inch small-block Windsor. The mill is estimated to be capable of around 650 horsepower and was built by Pro Flo Performance. As you’d expect with a project originally intended to produce a race car, the pennies weren’t spared on the internals.

The air/fuel mix is supplied by a Holley 850 carburettor via an Edelbrock manifold. The mix is then compressed into the Edelbrock heads by a set of JE competition pistons and the crank shaft and conrods are heavy-duty Eagle units. Ignition is handled by an MSD Blaster. Removal of the exhaust gases is provided by Ziggy’s own dual system matched to Flowmaster mufflers.

Getting all of that power to the back wheels requires the correct driveline set-up in order for the car to be competitive on race day. The gearbox is a Tremec TKO five-speed manual with a McLeod clutch in front. The diff set-up is a Strange six-inch 3.5:1 PosiTrac.

Stopping power on the Muzzy is provided by a set of Baer/Alcon six-piston monoblock brake callipers with 13.5-inch rotors, while cornering and stability is handled by TCI with RSS struts and Eibach springs up front. Triangulated four-link suspension and Varishock adjustable shocks are installed at the rear.

This is one of those cars where the more you look, the more you find. This classic Mustang represents American muscle car royalty. Tough and raw yet also sophisticated and easy on the eye.

With all the blood, sweat and tears that has gone into this automotive work of art, the million-dollar question is: Will the owner race it now that it’s complete? Greg Sadler says the owner is yet to decide, but if this creamy classic was yours, would you?

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Reviews – Classic DVD: Chinatown

by Suzan Ryan on Sep.21, 2011, under Reviews, Reviews, The Magazine

 

THE LOWDOWN
JJ ‘Jake’ Gittes (Nicholson) is a private investigator who specialises in marriage infidelity cases; the perfect beat for a jaded ex-cop who sees the dirty 1937 world of the City of Angels for what it really is. 

Jake is hired for an open chequebook case to look into the possible adultery of the chief engineer for the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power, Hollis Mulwray (Zwerling). An obsession with truth has Gittes pursuing a case that fast becomes less about marital infidelity and more about a sprawling conspiracy of murder, corruption and betrayal.

Along the way, he’s drawn to Evelyn Mulwray (Dunaway), a fragile femme fatale witha closet of sordid skeletons. Gittes’ dogged persistence sees him caught in a layered puzzle that leaves him with his share of scars when the credits roll.

The Oscar-winning script by Robert Towne is expertly directed by Roman Polanski, offering a compelling slow-burn mystery with some shocking left-field twists.

 

NUTS AND BOLTS
Rumour has it that tension was thick throughout production. Robert Towne and Roman Polanski fought over script rewrites, Polanski and Faye Dunaway were renowned for their heated on-set tiffs, and the director regularly crossed swords with Jack Nicholson.

Perhaps that’s why the on-screen menace is so chilling during Polanski’s cameo appearance as the hood who slices Jake Gittes’ nose. But the passion of the main creative parties is evident in this, the final movie Polanski shot in America before fleeing to Europe to avoid sentencing in an under-age sexual assault case.

Robert Towne admitted in 1999 that Polanski’s insistence on his twist ending was the right one. Faye Dunaway’s suggestion of an Oedipal motif delivered visceral results, as did her request for Jack Nicholson to slap her during a pivotal scene.

 

DVD EXTRAS
Unfortunately, the ‘Special Collector’s Edition’ DVD is fairly light on extras. The obligatory theatrical trailer is offset by behind-the-scenes features: Chinatown: The Beginning and The End, Chinatown: Filming and Chinatown: The Legacy. The film has great picture transfer and the inclusion of Dolby Digital 5.1 surround sound. Blu-ray is available only in America, with no word yet on an Australian release.


VERDICT
This film noir extravaganza holds its own almost 40 years after its initial release. A dominating performance from Jack Nicholson, clever scriptwriting and truly shocking revelations ensure Chinatown stands the test of time.

 

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Reviews – Adult DVDs: Sex & The City: The Original XXX Parody

by Suzan Ryan on Sep.21, 2011, under Reviews

WE’VE often wished that the entire cast of Sex and the City would go fuck themselves, and now it seems that fantasy has become reality, as the finale in this stellar XXX parody offers up an explosive free-for-all between the four female leads. Much like the television show it is lampooning, the plot is of no consequence.

New Sensations merely sets up the action and allows it to unfold. Charlotte (Starr) comes to terms with her new-found nymphomania as she exhibits her deep-throat prowess, Miranda (Voss) satisfies her man’s need for a three-way, and Samantha (Paige) devours her well-built neighbour with genuine gusto.

Infinitely more watchable than the US original, this funny and sexy stick flick is the perfect movie to enjoy with your favourite female.


 

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Gear: On the Road – GPS

by Suzan Ryan on Sep.08, 2011, under Reviews

 

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Motoring: FPV GT vs HSV GTS

by Suzan Ryan on Sep.07, 2011, under Reviews, Reviews

It’s a war that has raged for decades. It’s a conflict that has divided families and friends. Both sides have fired their heavy artillery, but neither has landed the killer blow. This is the battle between Ford and Holden. Now the motoring rivalry that helped define our nation enters its next phase with one manufacturer unleashing its most powerful vehicle while its foe has created its most advanced vehicle.

Last year saw both Ford and Holden wheel out their biggest guns yet—the new FPV GT and the new HSV GTS E3, respectively. In the red corner is the HSV, and the first thing that strikes you is just how extreme the car looks. Some auto companies have spent millions of dollars on safety.

Volvo has poured plenty of cash into developing smart systems that can detect obstacles, such as pedestrians, and automatically stop the car to avoid a crash. HSV, on the other hand, has developed its own unique way to avoid hitting old ladies. Rumbling through the streets of Sydney, the bright yellow HSV GTS E3 sends people scurrying back from the curb as soon as it gets within earshot.

That grumble is thanks to the new bi-model exhaust that lets the 6.2-litre V8 roar. Add to that the snarling nostrils, outrageous flared guards and over-the-top black grille and there’s no questioning the latest HSV’s road presence. It doesn’t just say “Look at me!”, it says “Get out of my way!” Subtle isn’t a word in the vocabulary of the team at HSV HQ. And that’s a good thing.

It’s helped Holden build some of the most brilliant performance sedans, not just in Australia, but around the world. It was a HSV GTS that helped convince the bigwigs at General Motors in the USA that the Holden Commodore and Monaro were good enough for export.

In the UK, where the vehicles are sold under the Vauxhall badge, they are regularly compared with the more expensive German super sedans from Mercedes-AMG, BMW and Audi. For all the theatrics and seemingly simple design, HSV has developed some of the most technically advanced cars that money can buy.

The GTS already offers MRC (Magnetic Ride Control) and a state-of-the-art shock-absorber system borrowed from the iconic Chevrolet Corvette, but the E3 also packs HSV’s latest hi-tech toy: EDI (Enhanced Driver Interface). Basically, it’s a data-logging system similar to that found in modern racing cars.

It allows the driver to record and study everything from speed and revs to G-forces and the amount of slide through the corners. But the aggressive body kit and all the gizmos can’t hide the fact that HSV has lost power bragging rights to FPV. Ford’s new GT may not have so many clever toys, but it can lay claim to being the most powerful production car built in Australia today.

Its new supercharged 5.0-litre V8 pumps out 335kW, giving it a 10kW advantage over the Holden. FPV has ploughed all its development money into the new engine, mainly because its old 5.4-litre V8 was sent to the scrapheap after failing to pass strict new emission laws. While the basic 5.0-litre power plant comes from Ford America, the impressive supercharger is an all-Aussie addition.

It was developed in partnership with local engineering ace Ron Harrop, who has an extensive background in motorsport which includes driving for the Holden Dealer Team alongside the late, great Peter Brock.

The good news for FPV is that the new engine is awesome; it revs hard and pulls strongly. The bad news is that the engine is so powerful it overwhelms the rest of the car. The gearbox, clutch, brakes and steering just can’t keep up with all that grunt.

Which is the better car? Well, that depends on what you’re looking for, or what side of the battle lines you sit on. The Ford has the power advantage, but can’t make full use of it. Conversely, the Holden is technically brilliant and great fun to drive, but also confronting to look at.

The real winner, of course, is the car-buying public. With both sides desperate to constantly outdo each other, Holden and Ford have succeeded in pushing the design and performance of Australia’s iconic vehicles to new heights, to the benefit of all.

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Film review: The Change-Up

by Suzan Ryan on Aug.25, 2011, under Reviews

The Change-Up

Director: David Dobkin
Cast: Jason Bateman, Ryan Reynolds, Leslie Mann, Olivia Wilde, Alan Arkin
Universal

While The Change-Up might not win any awards for original narrative devices—body switching is, nowadays, a comedy staple—the potential for laughs from the cast alone is extremely potent. Jason Bateman has proven himself as a skilled comedian on both TV (Arrested Development) and film (Smokin’ Aces), and Ryan Reynolds has done the exact same thing on the small screen (Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place) and the big screen (Blade: Trinity).

So with their comedic powers combined, along with their ability to convey believable drama, The Change-Up should have been a contender for comedy of the year. But the execution is ultimately not so much the sum of its parts as much as it is a confused mess sporadically broken up with a shotgun approach to humour; only some of which works.

Dave Lockwood (Bateman) is stuck in the rut of day-to-day married life. He’s working hard to make partner at a law firm, while his wife Jamie (Mann) is on his case about lack of communication in their marriage. Between his wife, the late-night wake-ups of crying children, and the crush he has on work colleague Sabrina McArdle (Wilde), Dave is not happy with life.

When he catches up for a boy’s night with childhood buddy Mitch Planko (Reynolds), whose only worries are his strained relationship with his serial marrier dad (Arkin) and securing new hot ladies to have sex with, Dave envies Mitch’s carefree lifestyle and Mitch yearns for the security of Dave’s routine. Too much alcohol and a mutual verbalisation of how much they want the other’s life later and the friends have switched bodies.

From here, the story arc is predictable and plays out by the numbers: after some initial tensions, Mitch starts to learn to be responsible in Dave’s body, while Dave learns to unwind as Mitch and appreciate the value of his family. But a by-the-numbers plotline doesn’t matter if the comedy is up to scratch.

The Change-Up starts strong, even if some of the jokes are of the gross-out or extreme variety. Bateman and Reynolds are shrewd enough comedians to garner some quality belly laughs from the audience, and when they switch roles, they have a lot of fun with taking the mickey out of the other. But the further the characters get into each other’s lives, the more the film tries to evolve into a drama with a much lesser emphasis on comedy. As with Due Date, the dramatic scenes feel out of place and destroy any comedic momentum that has built up, essentially resetting the ‘laugh clock’ to zero.

Ultimately, The Change-Up is far too formulaic to be given credit on its disjointed attempts at dramatic moments, and it’s not funny enough in the middle to be praised solely for its comedy. Through an attempt at pleasing a wider audience with a shotgun approach to laughs and out-of-place dramatic scenes, The Change-Up, unfortunately, disappoints on its epic comedic potential and defines itself as yet another film that could have been a whole lot funnier with a little more focus one way or the other.

THE CHANGE-UP OPENS TODAY.

Review: Nathan Lawrence

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