What is the deal with all the Spandex?
Stix: It’s like wearing nothing at all. It really lets the ladies know what they’re getting themselves into, which can be good or bad, depending on your cock size.

But what happens when you’re wearing Spandex and your sweet stage moves make you sweat?
Stix: Magic happens, that’s what. I can describe it as a sickly sweet aroma with a robust muskiness.

How’s your metal revival quest going?
Michael: Great, so far. But bringing back heavy metal is not an easy job; only Steel Panther has the tools to do it. You could say we’re like superheroes that get lots of pussy!

What are some of the special tools you’re using to bring back metal?
Michael: The tools change with the times. For instance, I need to use The Shocker on girls sometimes, because I get so high I can’t get a boner. That’s a tool. And, now that I’m older, I need to drink more water. Not much, just like a cup a week (because there is water in beer), but it’s something I need now.

But the most important tool you need to have is the ‘IT FACTOR’, and Steel Panther has the ‘IT FACTOR’. We have ‘IT’: A great lead guitar player, sexy bass player, killer drummer, and an awesome, bitchin’ lead singer. That’s the ‘IT FACTOR’. And we have amazing songs on our new CD.
Your follow-up to Feel The Steel?
Michael: Yes. We are almost done with it. We’re hoping to get it out soon. It’s fucking great, too. I mean, it’s somehow even better than our first album.

What lessons have you taken from the almighty DLR?
Michael: Well, I had a chance to have dinner with David Lee at the Rainbow Room [in Hollywood] years ago. I was so excited to meet him because I had been a big fan since I was in high school.

I brought along this chick I’d been boning for a while because she had killer tits and I really wanted to make Dave happy during dinner. He got there, said “hi” to me and talked in detail for like 10 minutes about the Rainbow’s menu. Then he ate, took my girl home and fucked her. That’s when I learned the more records you sell, the more pussy you get.
Stix: Dealing with women is real easy. It extends to shows, too: The more shows you play, the more bitches you will nail. It’s a simple statistical fact. Just finish your show, pick out your chick for the night and tell her friends to come and pick her up from your hotel in the morning.

What’s your opinion of Australian girls? Do you think they’ll succumb to your charms?
Michael: Girls are different everywhere you go, except between their legs.