What’s the most obvious difference between your escort service and others?
We’ve thoroughly researched what men look for in a woman. Think back to the 1950s housewife: the wife was immaculately presented and her husband would come home from work after she’d spent hours making sure that she looked good.

She had dinner served, the house cleaned, and she had a twist of naughtiness.

And today’s man is looking for a 1950s woman?
Yes, but with a twist of our generation. A man wants a woman who is immaculately presented, educated—but not as smart as him—she cooks and cleans and she loves to have sex.

Where do you find such women?
Well, it’s a difficult search, but Stepfords are girls who would walk down the street and you would not know that they’re escorts.

Some have university degrees, some have high-end jobs and some are models. I’ve looked for qualities in our girls who can cook and clean, who are nymphomaniacs, and who know how to please a man.

Does hiring for cooking meals also mean hiring for sex?
If you’re hiring someone to cook, obviously the first hour is going to be spent cooking, unless you want a burned meal by having ‘breaks’.

Most of our clients request a two-hour booking, so the first hour will be cooking, and the second hour will be sex.

You can hire just for the cooking side of things or just for a corporate event but, realistically, no-one does that. They want sex at the end, and the main concept [we sell] is the whole experience, not just one side of it.

It’s not Photoshopped and you get a realistic view of what the girl looks like, without having to look through a heap of photos.

Which packages are the most popular with clients?
It’s probably a tie between the Porn Star Experience, including the ‘double fantasy’ of two girls, or the cooking. There are two things that men need: good sex and good food.

The Porn Star Experience sounds intriguing. Tell us more…
The Stepfords obviously enjoy having sex. For the Porn Star Experience, we have many clients with fetishes so we explore many different fantasies; for instance, some men like to be dominated, which is actually quite common.

This is where the naughty little Stepford can transform from submissive housewife to naughty little dominatrix.

What sort of training do you offer the girls?
We do a thorough interview process to make sure the girls are what we’re looking for and what our clients are looking for. After that, they are trained in cooking to make sure that the menu set is the same across the board.

Obviously, none of them need to be trained in sex. However, I can tell you that two of our Stepfords decided to see how it would feel to be a client instead of the professional.

They hired a male escort, who didn’t know they were escorts themselves, to see how it would feel from a client’s perspective: the anticipation of knowing that someone was going to come over and that you were going to pay them for sex… They had a threesome with a male escort, so that was a bit of training.

STARR TURN

SEX KITTEN

But as the chattering classes howled about what a disgrace it was, shock jocks grumbled about the neutering our iconic Aussie sense of humour. What changed so dramatically in such a short time?

From the 1808 Rum Rebellion until the football, meat pies, kangaroos and Holden cars days of the 1970s, Australia enjoyed national representation by a very distinctive figure. He—no sexism intended, but it was almost always a male figure—was coarse, disrespectful, simple and funny. We’ve seen him epitomised in characters from sport (Shane Warne), politics (Bob Hawke), entertainment (Rodney Rude) and business (Kerry Packer).

He’s the larrikin, and he’s been a staple of Australian cultural life for a long time. Until now… Around the time we stopped hearing the phrase ‘lucky country’, we also adopted other models of national character besides the stoic, sardonic rural type with little time for hierarchical authority and a unique language to share his disdain for it.

When globalisation took hold in the ’80s, we wanted to see (and sell) ourselves as latte-quaffing sophisticates, particularly in the city-based hubs of media and social commentary.

It generated a unique social and cultural tension—even though we envied the urbane cool of New York or London, we kept contempt for ‘wankers’ dear to our hearts. Like the curmudgeonly grandparent we had to lock away during parties, we loved the larrikin even though we were a bit ashamed of him.

Just watch some of the movies from the New Wave era—where the blokes are all ockers, chasing beer and roots, their long-suffering women safely distanced from such behaviour by their British accents.

The larrikin might have thrived for so long in the pre-media age because of our healthy suspicion of authority, perhaps the cultural memory of a time when it transported our ancestors to far-flung, unforgiving penal colonies for inconsequential crimes.

Now, it seems the inner urbanite in our national character is winning. The onslaught of political correctness has taken its toll, and like the rest of the world we’ve been overrun by the unstoppable hegemony of American culture, tailored to appeal as much to a Yackandandah sheep farmer as it does a Hezbollah footsoldier in the Gaza Strip.

But there’s a class division in Australia like there is in Britain or anywhere else, and that’s the one between city and country. Though our national mythology is largely based around the bush, most Australians live in coastal capitals where we’re more familiar with rap music and broadband internet than billy tea.

“The larrikin evolved as a cultural point of reference through early twentieth-century texts like CJ Dennis’s The Songs of a Sentimental Bloke,” says Anthony Lambert, an expert in cultural identity at Macquarie University. “But the characters actually lived and worked in the city.”

But still, we’ve dropped the larrikin from the cultural consciousness of city living, haven’t we? “We may not associate larrikins with the city,” Lambert adds, “but it was the cheeky, relatively unsophisticated characters that shaped the local version of reality show The Apprentice, even though it was set in the boardrooms of the Sydney CBD.

Many urban Australians would suggest this framing of identity is fairly outdated, but I think ‘larrikinism’ is alive and well in the country and city.”

More interesting is the proposition that the larrikin might merely be an illusion, or at best a local version of a universal figure. Most countries or racial groups only gain a toehold in history after considerable hardship, and it’s human nature to respond with humour.

The very word ‘larrikin’ isn’t even Australian—it’s an old Irish word with the same root as ‘skylarking’. “I’m sure there are some parallels, analogues of larrikins in most cultures,” says broadcaster and intellectual Phillip Adams.

“Bob Hawke rolled up to me at some do and told me the one about the two corpses on the Hume Highway—one was a politician and the other was a kangaroo. The difference was there were skid marks before the kangaroo.

“At the time I thought it was wonderful, a larrikin Prime Minister telling a good Australian joke. But when I checked I found the original joke was about Route 66 and the corpse of a skunk. So it’s an illusion to think it’s exclusively Australian. We just claim it as our own.”

Adams thinks you only have to look as far as another people who thrived out of suffering as the early Australians did. “There’s a great similarity between the heavy irony of Australian humour and Jewish humour,” he says.

“The battering rural Australians have had is a bit like the sense of Jewish irony having to survive almost infinite problems with Yahweh [God]. It produced a similar comic attitude to expect the worst.”

Adams also points out that a lot of the larrikin’s trappings were extreme—and fictitious—satirical exaggerations. As the producer of 1972′s The Adventures of Barry McKenzie, he remembers scriptwriter Barry Humphries’ motivations very well. “The film was an act of exorcism,” Adams recalls. “[Humphries] hated the ocker.”

The real division of larrikinism in Australia might not be between city and country, or rich and blue collar, but past versus future. Political sensitivity and a more sophisticated (and litigious) society have transformed the cultural landscape—maybe that’s why we love it when a subversive example of larrikin humour sneaks past the cultural gatekeepers, such as with The Chaser.

“The larrikin is never far away from the way Australians think about themselves,” says Macquarie’s Anthony Lambert. “You might also argue we’re so distant from such images—in the cities at least—we can laugh at them as lesser forms of ourselves.

“I have a feeling it’s a little of both. Most Australians want a foot in both camps, a claim to being ‘Aussie’ in a romantic, laid-back sense but not one that diminishes Australian-ness as something less than other developed countries.”

Of course, recent backlashes against larrikinism have proven what a different society we live in from when Hoges invited the world over for a shrimp on the barbie. When Tourism Australia—from advertising devised by Sydney agency M&C Saatchi—asked prospective visitors, “Where the bloody hell are you?”, the response ranged from a new cultural cringe at home to outrage overseas, the British government even banning the offending ads.

“Forget the crap you hear about why people visit Australia,” he says. “What they like most isn’t the Opera House or Uluru. They like Australians, and what they like about us is our character and irreverence, which was without doubt born out of the larrikin era.

“But let me remind you of another stereotype in our illustrious history—the wowser, sworn enemy of the larrikin. No fun. Serious. Probably religious. Anti everything. Well, they’re still lurking around and easily offended, it seems, by words like ‘bloody’.”

McFarlane adds that the renaissance of the wowser is manifesting itself in a ‘nanny state’ culture. “Frankly, we could run a profitable advertising agency just running TV commercials on what people can’t do, like gamble, drink too much or have unprotected sex—all of the stuff that the Australian larrikin once lived for.”

So maybe, even though we’ve stopped holding the larrikin up as a cultural figurehead for our values so visibly, we still love and try to adopt his irreverent attitudes to life. He was never much of a leader, anyway…

Did you leave Australia for work?
Yeah, I was chosen by Playboy TV to travel to the USA and work on porn, so I did that. I’ve always wanted to be part of the adult industry. I started with adult modelling at 18, then went to dancing. Porn was always next, and that’s what I’ve been keeping myself busy with lately: making adult movies and adjusting to life over here.

Kiki Vidis featured in our March 2011 issue and she spoke of you. How did the two of you meet?
I met her through Playboy. They wanted another girl to continue on the American Adventure show to a second series. Her show was Kiki’s American Adventure and my show is Kelly’s American Adventure. We keep in touch; she’s a lovely girl.

What are you like when you’re filming scenes?
I’m pretty easygoing, but I’m also a crazy girl once the scene starts. I don’t like taking breaks. I keep going and going, and by the end of it if I’m exhausted, I know I performed well and gave my all.

What ranks as your favourite scene?
My first shoot was a girl-girl with Asa Akira, and during the scene Shyla Stylez walked in, as she was performing in a scene right after me. It was a surreal experience because I was a porn addict before I got into [the industry] and I had always loved watching her! We’ve since become really good friends.

We understand your agency has outlasted many others. What do you think is the secret behind your success?
Basically, we have a really high calibre of applicants. They have so much compatibility with one another. I think our branding and marketing really attracts the right client. Also, we are very selective with who we take on. We don’t take just anybody and hope for the best, which I think is an approach that’s got other agencies into trouble in the past.

What do you do if there aren’t any potential matches?What do you do if there aren’t any potential matches?

We tell them we’ll touch base in a month or two. Everybody is at a different point in the dating game. Some people are in relationships, some are waiting for a date, some have just gone on a date. So people who were not available become available, and new people join the service who could end up being compatible. It’s constantly changing and evolving.

Has the service led to any marriages?
Yes, we’ve had several marriages. The first one was a couple who had only been dating for five months. And we actually had our first baby born last August. That’s pretty special. What kind of women sign on for the service? Our women are professional; some are business owners. We have a lot of very savvy entrepreneurs across a range of dynamic and vibrant industries. A lot of our women are looking for men who are truly their equal—someone who is confident, charismatic and good-humoured; a gentleman who has been raised with old-fashioned values. The women are financially secure, so they’re not looking for somebody to support them by any means. They’re fit, athletic, well-groomed, stylish and attractive. The women we represent get approached constantly by men who want to go out with them, but they are selective about who they want to be with, and that’s why they join.